Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Matt in La La Land

Today you're going to get the pleasure of hearing from Matt, who has been a great friend of mine since high school -- he is also enjoying life in La La Land! I hope you enjoy his sense of humor as much as I do!

I have been an avid fan of Ali’s blog since the beginning, and I feel honored to be a guest writer for the day. She recently told me she was hitting some writer’s blocks, so I’m going to take advantage of this and let everyone know a few things that have been on my mind lately.

I hate Susan Boyle.

I started hearing about her in the news about a month ago, and how amazing of a singer she was. With her grandmotherly appearance, she became an internet phenomenon with her underdog story of success, singing in her local church choir. Eventually, I grew curious enough to find her on youtube. All of her videos had millions of views, five stars across the board. I knew this was going to be spectacular…

And then it wasn’t. I’ve never felt so short changed in my entire life. She was so-so at best, missing notes throughout her whole song. As days passed, her popularity only grew, and everyone kept talking about how amazing she was. Well, I wasn’t buying into the hype, and I’ve grown to despise her. Every time I see that stupid smile and frizzy gray hair, I hope and pray it’s my last

Subway sandwiches go bad after 20 minutes.

The announcement of $5 footlongs has been one of the most exciting things that have happened to me within the last year (besides getting married and moving across the country, of course). I love Subway and could eat it a few times a week without getting sick of it. Just yesterday, I had my favorite sandwich: turkey with “the works” and a strip of honey mustard.

My word of warning: Eat quickly, and don’t save your leftovers. Subway sandwiches are really gross after 20 minutes. We’ve all put our other 6 inches in the fridge for a later meal, and the soggy mess always grosses us out. Yet, we keep doing it. I’ve even toasted my sandwich to dry out the wet bread, which actually helps a little, but it still doesn’t solve this gross problem.

Finally, wobbly chairs and tables are the worst.

You sit down for lunch at your favorite local cafĂ© to realize in horror that not only is your chair wobbly, but so is the ENTIRE TABLE. Every elbow rests spills water, and nobody can agree on which way it should sit. If you’ve ever run into this problem with me, I don’t hesitate to take a wad of napkins and stuff it under the short leg. I highly recommend this successful technique.

I guess the point I’m trying to make is that if you ever find yourself eating a soggy Subway sandwich on a wobbly table, and you happen to notice Susan Boyle sitting right next to you, just run as far and fast as you can. Life is too short to deal with those types of difficult situations.

1 comment:

  1. haha-this is hilarious.
    I really don't like Susan Boyle either, she seems like such a mess! And I absolutely LOVE subway, I could eat veggie subs everyday!